Shared by Emiliya Tsaneva
Which were the most beautiful moments or periods in your life until now?
When I look back now, I remember mainly moments connected to coming back to something I know or getting to know something new. The first memory that comes in my mind is when my older sister came back from the US after a long period of absence; then the first time I hugged my niece; and trips to different cities such as Plovdiv, Ohrid, Vienna, Izmir… And this is not because of specific event there, the atmosphere itself in this cities is special.
And what is the most difficult experience you have gone through?
When I was 16, my motto in life was: “Every wall is a door”. So you can imagine how many walls I had to crush with such kind of attitude. Recently I finally succeeded in changing this motto to: “Everything wonderful in my life happens with joy and ease”. And still when I look back in my life, I am contented with myself that I have succeeded in overcoming all those situations and I’ve learned something important out of them.
When I was 16, one morning I just woke up with a horrible dull pain in the lower spine and I couldn’t control my legs that well, as a result getting up from bed and walking turned into luxury for me. I started visiting different doctors, each of them had different scary diagnosis for me and so it continued several months going from one doctor to the next one, at the same time feeling desperate and helpless, until in the end it turned out that in reality the situation wasn’t that bad – I just had a pinched and inflamed nerve, so after relieving the inflammation and releasing the nerve, I was able to walk normally again. After such an experience you definitely learn to treasure the simple things in life, such as the ability to walk, to dance, to run!
The next difficulty I can think of, was my bachelor degree the Arabistics – I have never had any problems with studying and I have always been studious, but when I started studying Arabistics, it turned out that things are not really working the way I am used to. There was one period when I was studying about 12 hours per day, after that I was taking exams and I failed over and over again. It was a really hard first year at university, which doesn’t mean that the following years were easier, but I just learned to give my best and at the same time not be attached to the result that much. When you go through such hard time and after this you realize that you are still alive, then there is nothing that can scare you that much anymore.
And the third extremely hard moment for me that I can think of right now, was about 3 years ago, when I finally met a person, with whom my soul was just blossoming, we matched each other so well and supported each other in every aspect. At the beginning I was so happy, seeing the world through pink glasses, but at one point the guy just decided to leave and I ended up in a very deep depression, from which I managed to recover almost entirely about year and a half later. This taught me to live because of myself and to focus on my own growth and my mission on Earth, and not to put another live being before me on first place in my life. If someone wants to walk together with me in case he has the same direction, even when it is for a while, he is welcome, but this shouldn’t draw me away from my direction and take the feeling of joy away from me when the person is not there next to me.
What do you believe in?
All of us are wonderful divine beings, who came on Earth to learn lessons and to enjoy life. And no matter how much it hurts sometimes, how many times we fall and get up, how many times we say to ourselves: “This is the end, I can’t take it anymore, I want to go away from this Earth!”, all of us can feel what a blessing it is to be here, and how much beauty and joy there is in life, even in the sad moments.
Do you believe in people?
Yes, I believe that we can find light in every person and that every person deserves to be loved, supported and guided, when he asks for this himself. Of course, at the same time it is good to be realistic and keep in mind that the soul of the person in front of us is loving and radiant, but the physical manifestation sometimes lies to us, makes us suffer, behaves bad towards us… Which doesn’t make the person less wonderful, this just gives us an indication to love and respect him, but from distance.
And do you believe in yourself?
There are some moments, when I don’t believe in myself; when I just woke up in the morning and I don’t want to get up from bed, it can happen to everyone. But during most of the time I succeed in keeping the faith in myself and my own abilities, because this faith is our main support to go ahead. I believe that each one of us is capable of dealing with each situation in his life, each of us is much stronger and majestic than we think and within us we have everything necessary for our own growth.
What do you wish for? What do you hope for?
There are some moments, in which you just dive into the present moment and you feel the joy from the very fact that you are alive with each cell of yours. In the outer world it is not needed these moments to be special – for me most often this moments appear when I just have a walk in a park or I just sit next to the sea. Something just happens inside of me and I stop thinking about all the things I need to get done, and I stop worrying. Just like that, without a reason. I wish that I have more moments like this one.
Is there something important that you don’t have enough time for?
Well, in principle I am quite a hurry-up person – I always go with long lists of tasks, which I have to transfer from today’s list to tomorrow’s list, after that to next week’s list and I never find time for some of them… Yes, but when something happens every time, so that I don’t have enough time for one particular task, this means that it is just not that important. Especially in today’s life, we always have a huge pile of things to do or enormous choice from different activities. There is no way to have time for everything, but for the things that really matter to us, we always have time.
This interview was taken by the website oneofusshares.com (Only in Bulgarian)
