Author: Emiliya Tsaneva
Have you ever realized you are just sitting and dreaming about what the future will be like? I can`t wait for the weekend to come, for the summer vacation, for my holiday… I can`t wait to graduate, to find the right job for me, to get promoted, to lose weight, to find the perfect partner for myself, I can`t wait for the kids to grow up… I can`t wait for the bright future I am imagining to come, then everything in my life will be great! Are you sure?
It`s great to have an optimistic attitude towards the future, however the future is just a possibility. It could be as we imagine it or it could be something else. The only thing that we really have is the present moment and our present experience. The only joy we could actually enjoy is the one at the moment. Of course, in the present moment there might be a lot of difficulties and effort that we need to put in, otherwise we wouldn`t be so tempted to run into the future or in the past from times to times. However, although the present moment is not that perfect as the future we dream about, it is the present moment that makes us powerful and able to create the life we want.
Maybe you also have had the experience of something new emerging into your present moment and before you have even got to know it, you start wondering or even worrying about how would things go in the future. Sometimes we look for a partner so desperately that when we meet a new attractive person in the present, we don`t focus on getting to know them here and now, but we start hectically thinking what would life with that person be like, is it going to work this time, are they going to choose someone else over me, am I going to make a mistake if I choose exactly this person… The same way with job interviews, proposals for new projects and everything else that is just an idea at the present moment. Hectically we wonder what is going to happen. And in case we have experience with relationships that didn`t work out, messed up projects or missed opportunities, the pressure we could put on ourselves and the people around us, could be quite harmful. If we put ourselves into the hell of frantically thinking whether it is going to happen, being afraid not to mess things up again, worrying whether this is really the best thing for us – we only cause ourselves a headache and we poison our own life. All of this is just a potential, a possibility. And even if things do get messed up, even if we do miss an opportunity, life always gives us another one, and another one, and another one. Well, this shouldn`t be an excuse for you not to take any action or not to do your best! But still, even if you do mess it up, it`s going to be okay.
Me personally, I have messed up a lot of things in my life a lot of times – relationships, projects, friendships, opportunities for career growth… And until recently the emergence of something new in my life made me literally freeze and start frantically thinking what is going to happen in the future. Will I be able to cope with it? Will I make a mistake again? Will I fail again? This was driving me totally crazy.
However, the moment I realized that those are just possibilities, my tension went down. Yes, here it is a new possibility, let`s see how things will go. It might work, or it might not. Maybe this is something good for me, maybe it isn`t. But even if it doesn`t work out, even if it is not the best option for me, I know I am strong enough and I have enough experience to handle it. And I know that each of you also has the inner resource to handle the situation, no matter how difficult it might be at times.
When I perceive the future as a possibility, I have the power to focus on the present moment and prepare for my future. If I want a new and better job, it is necessary that today I improve my skills and work on how I present myself. If I want a new and better relationship in the future, it is necessary that today I work on myself, on how I look, on how I feel about myself, how I communicate with people and be clear with myself what exactly I want in a relationship, if I haven’t made it clear for myself until now.
Of course, the present moment is not just about work and putting effort. It is also about joy. Only today can I enjoy today`s sun, only today can I hug my closest people, tell them how much I cherish them and how much they mean to me, only today I can help a friend, smile at stranger or pet this cute dog that constantly puts her nose in my bags.
The present moment is all we have got. The future is just a possibility. Let`s live today in a way that makes us happy with ourselves.
